


A Conventional Method

by Ranranbolly



Category: Once Bitten - Fandom
Genre: D&D, Fluff and Humor, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 02:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11864403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ranranbolly/pseuds/Ranranbolly
Summary: The countess has lost her youth, and Mark has escaped her clutches. Luckily, Sebastian has an idea to save the Countess from geriatric immortality.





	A Conventional Method

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick little one-off. My passion for vampire films really seems to know no bounds.

Sebastian led the countess from the room, squeezing her hand reassuringly as the old woman sobbed pitifully. Casting his eyes on her gray locks, bundled into pearled netting, he couldn't help but feel a deep sense of pain at the loss of their healthy blond glow.

"There there, now. I told you we'd find another virgin for you, my dear. Soon you'll be young again once more," he cooed, knowing the calming effect his words had on her when she was at her worst.

"Oh, Sebastian. You have no idea how difficult it is for me, having to do this every year. Virginity is practically non-existent..."

"Now countess, I know that isn't true. Why...I hear there are young men all over the country who hide in their parent's basements, pretending to kill dragons with dice and paper maps. Surely you can't think any of  _them_ has lost their virginity?" He suggested, smiling warmly and patting her hand once more.

The countess looked up at Sebastian with a new spark of hope in her eyes, even as the sound of the shaking coffin behind them in the other room echoed through the hall.

"Are you quite certain Sebastian?"

"Countess, I promise...soon you'll be able to  _gorge_  yourself on virgin blood. The stunning lights of LA may compliment your glamour, but they're hardly such happy hunting grounds any more. I suggest we try a vacation in the midwest...I hear there's a sort of gathering these young men like to go to, a 'convention' of a sort."

"Oh Sebastian! You truly are the most wonderful companion!" The old woman cried, beaming up at her servant. He winked back at the countess. Of course...her hunt was going to be considerably more difficult in the body of a grandmother, but surely they would be able to make due.


End file.
